No One Cares About Your Garage Band

By Deane Barker on September 7, 2009

No one cares about your garage band: This is an actual Wikipedia admin page helping administrator identify pages created to promote someone’s garage band.

Typical characteristics of garage band pages […]

Lack of capitalization: People making articles about their garage bands generally forget that capitalization of proper nouns is one of the underlying principles of the English language […]

Lack of any formatting whatsoever: As 99.9% of garage-band-page-creators have no prior experience with Wikipedia and its formatting system, garage band pages are often devoid of the markup present in standard pages.

[…] Use of the word “hardcore”: All garage bands, even if they are not “hardcore” seem to love to describe themselves as such.

They helpfully include a sample article as an example of what to look for and delete:

BRINGERS OF DARKNESS are revitalizing audiences with their raw energy live show and undeniable chemistry of brotherhood. They transcend a world that is locked in genre and commercialism; though they know they can’t do it alone, they are the seeds of a revolution. Members: Tim kingsworth – guitarist born to rock, tim has written many of bringers of darkness’s best songs including “my love is like ten thousand arows” Shayne tracy -vocals Stunning gutteral screams, as raw and wild as the songs barett lee- bass player the best bass player in idaho is barett lee, his awesome riffs bring bringers of darkness’s songs together

wade wilson- drummer      played everyware, now the pumping heart of bringers of darkness beats 

It just gets funnier in the section entitled “How Do I Know if Anyone Cares About my Garage Band?”

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