Ego Surfing with George Clooney

By Deane Barker on March 17, 2008

Interview with George Clooney – On Career, Sex And Politics: Ever wonder what stars think about all the stuff written about them on the Internet? Well, this is one of the most simply inventive things I’ve seen in a while: Esquire sat George Clooney down to surf the Web about himself.

He starts by reading his Wikipedia entry:

He secretly financed and executive-produced a political thriller short film called The Endgame Study in 2006.

“Never heard of that. It was so secret, I have no idea what they’re talking about.”

It is rumored that Clooney was the one to have circulated the videotape of Jesus vs. Santa (the video greeting card that gave birth to South Park) around the Los Angeles area in 1995.

“There’s truth to that.”

They go on to his Internet Movie Database entry:

This one looks interesting: a 1993 thriller called The Harvest. Clooney is listed as the “lip-syncing transvestite.” Yeah, he remembers that one. Wishes he didn’t.

The writer bets Clooney he can find an online fan club for his 1997 movie, The Peacemaker (which I loved, incidentally). Clooney is doubtful.

After a couple of minutes, I concede the point. The closest I can find are a handful of positive reviews of the Peacemaker DVD on Amazon. I also find this review, which Clooney reads aloud:

George Clooney is about as entertaining to watch as Michael Jaskson being raped by the Gorton’s fisherman.

“Wow, that’s an angry cat right there,” says Clooney.

They go on to his entry at the Hollywood Stock Exchange:

Clooney’s stock is trading at $46, down from a career high in 2000, the year of The Perfect Storm and O Brother, Where Art Thou?

“What’s Damon at?” Clooney asks.

Then to Facebook.

We are logged on to a Facebook group called “George Clooney is NOT the sexiest man alive.”

“Ninety-four members,” says Clooney as he looks at the photo of himself with a red X through it. “What the f**k?”

From there they go through a bunch of gossip sites — turns out Clooney can’t even remember who he’s slept with over the years. And they finally end up, regrettably, at 2 Girls 1 Cup (don’t worry — that link goes to Wikipedia):

After several seconds: “It’s not so bad,” he says.

Three seconds later: “Oh.”

Another two seconds: “Oh, my GOD! Oh, my God!! Oh, my God!”

Clooney puts his hand over his mouth like he’s going to throw up. He bolts from his chair and walks out of the room.

Gadgetopia

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