The Innovator 3000

By Deane Barker on December 7, 2005

(Warning: this entire post is related to a sponsor’s link on this site. And to find this you’ll need to click on the sponsor’s link. But it’s kind of worth it.)

Hitachi ads started appearing on the site today. Something about the “Innovator 3000,” which sounds a lot like “Andre 3000,” and who doesn’t like Outkast? So I clicked and got a little Flash game that’s pimping for Hitachi hard drives (they make hard drives?).

It’s kind of a strategy puzzle where you build a “device” and try to get it to do stuff. First you pick a Hitachi hard drive to “power your device.” Next you add a base, some sensors, and some motivators — it’s a little tricky to move them around and get them connected, but remember that you have to match up male and female connectors (and if you didn’t know that, then how’d you get all those kids?).

Once you’ve done that, you “wire up” the device by connecting a “stimulus” on a sensor to a “response” on a motivator. So when your eyeball detects movement from the front, your tank treads move backwards, etc. This was a little complicated, but before long my eyeball glowed green when I was rolling forwards, and all was good.

Now it’s time to test — they put you in the arena with another device to see how you react. I sucked. My device shimmered and shook like a bowl of jello (or — wait for it — “like a polaroid pitcha”). It was over-stimulated, I think. There are little flowers on the floor, and I think the goal is to pick them up, but God only knows how.

So, anyway, it was pretty fun once you got the hang of it. It’s as good of a way as any to blow 15 minutes of your life.



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