The Daily WTF for today describes my own personal version of Hell, and it turns out that not only does it exist right here on Earth, but they’re hiring:
Information and tools to analyze data and administer policies reside in 3 Microsoft Access databases. One of the databases has a complicated data structure with over 1500 objects. Many of the tools to administer the policies are Excel files that include complicated macros. Excel tools are frequently uploaded into the Access Databases for further use and report generation. Information gathered through Business Objects reports from a Peoplesoft derived HR Toolkit will also need to be uploaded into the Access Databases.
Must have excellent consulting/listening skills and ability to turn user requests (most of which are on an ad hoc basis) into executable solutions and capabilities. There is a high expectation of zero-mistake execution of a proposed solution with the ability to turn work around ahead of proposed deadlines.
Because nothing promotes fast turnaround and ‘zero-mistake execution’ like a massively complex Access database. Why don’t they just add, “Must be able to levitate and bend spoons with mind”?
My guess is that the last programmer died, either from stress or a jump from something high.