A Comment and a Question

By Deane Barker on February 24, 2005

We recently approved a comment on an entry from a few weeks ago. The post was about how kids who blog are “a pedophile’s dream.”

Well — wouldn’t you know it — we got a comment…from a pedophile. We had a tough time with this one, but in the end we approved it because we thought it addressed the topic.

There is more about our thinking in an editorial note we included with the comment itself. I’ve closed comments on that entry to prevent flame wars from either side.

So, post to this entry and tell me: were we right to publish this comment? I want to know what you think.



  1. Yes, I think you did the right thing and if this situation came up on my site I would do the same. Seeing both sides of the issue is always a good thing, even if one side is considered taboo.

  2. Like it or not, the comment was insightful and well-written. I think you did the right thing by allowing it to be seen. There are plenty of times where we don’t like the message or the messenger but it certainly gave the discussion a new angle. I’m not sure I want to visit this site and read entries like that on a regular basis but it had a place in that discussion.

  3. I think you were right to allow the comment through. I think “Dirge” makes a couple of valid points and his response is certainly relevant to your original post.

    Kudos to Deane (and team) for being bold enough to publish his comments.

  4. Pedophiles don’t need exposure, they need help. There’s no doubt that this guy is intelligent but he also has very serious psychological issues. Pedophiles aren’t born (as I believe to be the case with homosexuals) they’re created by traumatic childhood experiences, like being molested themselves. Although the rationing of his behavior may be interesting to some, it doesn’t belong on this site or any other site — it belongs in a small room with a couch and a psychiatrist close by.

  5. “Taboo”? It’s illegal.”

    Copying most software, malicious hacking and downloading music are also illegal in many countries in which paedophilia is. This site has discussed and arguably linked to sites involved in the above crimes.

    We, and the paedophiles all know and agree that sex between people with a great variation in age where one partner is under a certain age is illegal. The question is as to whether it is wrong, and why it is wrong, and whether the law is correct.

    The only way that our often narrow-minded prejudices will be justified and become valid, rounded arguments (or indeed shown to be mistaken) is by open debate. Debate requires input from both sides, and only by understanding the position of those who we disagree with will we be able to present a good counterargument.

    The comment by the paedophile and criminal was a valid part of an open debate, which helps everyone understand this contentious argument better.

    Well done for posting it. I applaud you.

  6. Yes, kudos to you guys for publishing my response. Though your editorial disclaimer above it was somewhat slanted, I cannot blame you for that, just as I cannot blame Freud for calling women?s sexuality the ?dark continent?. Freud was a product of his time and its structures, as many of the posts here indicate their posters are just as constructed.

    I don?t really want to get into the history of ?boylove?, as it is very tiring, complicated, and ultimately ignored. But my kind has been around forever and are responsible for some the greatest achievements of mankind. How, in just a few short words, can I relate that my sexuality is in the tradition of Plato, Horace, da Vinci, Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Wilfred Owen, Thomas Mann? The list of ?pedophiles? is endless, and that is not to mention the ones who where forced to live all their lives in secrecy. I mean, just look at some of the responses above; this is what I, your very common, low key, mild mannered ?pedophile? must deal with. The task of disputing so many fictions, fables and outright untruths is mammoth.

    What is amazing about blogs, and the internet in general, is that this technology lets those who have been silent by force or choice an opportunity to publish their side of the story. It?s completely democratic: those who wish to read may, those who don?t can just ignore. In this regard, blogs have it all over the printing press!

    For example, Mike above calls my voice ?taboo? while Martin below him calls it ?illegal.? Taboo in the sense that we have de-sexed children, yes. Illegal in any sense, no. Simply to have an attraction to children and to voice that attraction in a Constitutional manner is not illegal. Don?t get me wrong, I understand Martin?s deep concern towards my sexuality, perhaps even me; and I respect his concern in the sense that I must respect Freud when he sees women as unknowable patrons of lust. Freud was simply mistaken.

    I can only speak for boylovers, not all ?child attracted adults?, when I say blogs and the Net are a godsend as far as free expression goes. A central question in the boylove community is how do we get our message out that we are not ?monsters?, ?rapists?, or what-have-yous, that we are actually very human, and very vulnerable. [Hath not a Jew eyes?] For instance, if you were current in the dialectic of online boylove, you would know that the most avid, the most acute, the most ferocious of child advocates fighting such things as child pornography and physical abuse ARE boylovers. But for you to know this is very difficult, almost impossible. Society has become content with constructing the picture of a physical and mental ?monster? when they hear the word ?pedophile?, besides blogs and posting forums we are at a loss to combat this, much the way Jews of the Middle-Ages were at a loss to combat rumors spread by the Church that they drank the blood of Christian children.

    Continuing down the list, Erica sees my comment as ?insightful and well written?, and Jonathan says I make some ?valid points.? Matt say that I am intelligent but that I have some serious ?psychological issues?. He goes on to guess that pedophiles aren?t born, like gays, but are ?created by traumatic childhood experiences.? This is ironic since it is the exact same argument used by many people who are against homosexuals, also ironic since his argument would suggest that traumatic childhoods might act as puppy-mills for pedophiles. I had some issues growing up, but so did my brother and three sisters, and I am the only one who turned out to be a ?pedophile.? Now, I?m not arguing with Matt, I?m only pointing out how access to a forum allows me to counter such flawed thinking. If only Stonewall-era gays and medieval Jews had access to blogs!

    Finally, Morgan concedes that the debate needs to be opened to both sides of the issue, while in one breath calling me a pedophile and a criminal. Now, I have never met Morgan, nor have I ever committed a crime bigger than littering on the interstate (which I don?t do anymore), but still she/he sees me as a criminal. Sadly, she or he does not even know me, yet they have written me off as illegal if only for my sexual orientation. For full disclosure, I?m 26 and a virgin. Which means I?m either a candidate for Oprah or abstinence education.

    Despite Gagetopia?s somewhat slanted disclaimer to my original comment, I must grant you that you are far more open minded than much of the world, and generally I was pleased to see that at least your readers think there should be a debate. My blog is simply a journal of one man who happens to be attracted to boys. I try to write my thoughts with precision and humanity, because I think the world needs to know that we, boylovers, are human, we are not gross monsters who wallow in depravity while scheming to seduce children, just as the Jews never sacrificed or drank the blood of Catholic kids.

    Thanks again for continuing the discussion. Perhaps in time progress will be made.



  7. p.s. the funny question marks ? ? imply that i tried to use quotations ” ” . Sorry for the blip

  8. im doing an assignment on an eco-friendly town but i dont know what to right for a report it must include eco-friendly features but i dont know any please help im desperarete for a good grade thankz btw great site :)

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