419 Hit Squad

By on July 19, 2004

I haven’t received one of these yet, but according to an article in The Register, the 419 scams perpetrated by the Nigerians aren’t netting as many suckers as they once did, so the scammers are promising death instead of easy millions. All you’ve got to do to spare yourself is send them $40K.

From: Secretary Towogbola [secretary_in_chargeeeee@hotmail.com]
Subject: TREAT AS URGENT ..Ben.. {THIS IS NO JUNK MAIL}

“EXECUTION”EXECUTION”EXECUTION”’
NATIONAL CORPORATION HEADQUATERS LAGOS.

PRIVACY. we wish to introduce our company/ourselves as a subsidiary of INTERNATIONAL ASSASINATORS AND WORLD SECURITY ORGANISATIONS,with branches in one hundred and two {102}countires.

we have received a fax message from our headquaters,new york,this morning to inform you to produce a mandatory sum of US$40,000.00 {FOURTHY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS} only,into our account given below in nigeria within ninety six hours{96},alternatively you will be SNIPPED and GUNNED down during the period of our oncoming anniversary of fifty years.

STANDARD TRUST BANK VICTORIA ISLAND BRANCH LAGOS A/C NO. 03681173101152 {OLAJIDE .O. WILLIAMS} NIGERIA

CAUTION.

1.you are to attach and send with immediate effect,the payment slip,confirming the payment and to enable us to reconcile with our files and deploy our men already monitoring you.

2.we will as well waste no time to carry our operations,if we discover that this contact is disclosed to any second party including the following:-
{a}police {b}relation and {c}friends

3.we guarantee your saftey locally and internationally,on the completion of this contract and will not hesitate to disclose our men in your country to you and as well render our service if needed or on request.

we seek your urgent co-operation,for it is not our wish to get you eliminated.

Note : – Your death has been paid for by someone you offended sometime ago and it will be adviceable that you co-operate with us a.s.a.p.

TOWOGBOLA .A.JOHNSON SECRETARY.

secretary_in_chargeeeee??? International Assasinators and World Security Organisations?!? With branches in 102 countries? I wonder if they’re selling franchises.

This would be funnier if I knew that nobody would fall for it.

Gadgetopia

Comments

  1. Do they really have branch offices, or do you suppose they just operate as a branch service of some place like Western Union:

    Please Check ONLY ONE: _ Wire these funds to the foreign recipient, named above.

    _ Place these funds as a dead-or-alive bounty on the foreign recipient.

    Note: DO NOT CHECK THE WRONG BOX! Western Union will not be held responsible for accidental assassinations.

  2. Also, I wonder if “Assassinator” is like a tradesman assassin, or if “Assassinator” is like an assassin PhD equivalent. Should I be more concerned if Assassinators are after me, or if assassins are on my trail. The Secretary should clarify.

  3. Boy, if our president would just cough up forty grand, we’d have global terrorism licked for good.

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