The Gematriculator

By Deane Barker on May 20, 2004

The Sect of Homokaasu – The Gematriculator: The Gadgetopia home page is only 25% evil. The Microsoft home page? 37% evil. 54% evil (never underestimate the penguin…). And Google, who claims to “do no evil” in their corporate mission statement, is only 11% evil. Good for them.

The Gematriculator is a service that uses the infallible methods of Gematria developed by Mr. Ivan Panin to determine how good or evil a web site or a text passage is.

Basically, Gematria is searching for different patterns through the text, such as the amount of words beginning with a vowel. If the amount of these matches is divisible by a certain number, such as 7 (which is said to be God’s number), there is an incontestable argument that the Spirit of God is ever present in the text. […]

Experts consider the mathematical patterns in the text of the Holy Bible as God’s watermark of authenticity. Thus, the Gematriculator provides only results that are absolutely correct.



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