Reasons to Hate Java

By Deane Barker on October 6, 2003

Java’s Cover: Here are twleve reasons to hate Java, written by a guy who has never programmed it.

“It could be that in Java’s case I’m mistaken. It could be that a language promoted by one big company to undermine another, designed by a committee for a ‘mainstream’ audience, hyped to the skies, and beloved of the DoD, happens nonetheless to be a clean, beautiful, powerful language that I would love programming in. It could be, but it seems very unlikely.”

You know, the great thing about jumping to conclusions is that it saves so much time.



  1. There are 2 types of programmers. The ones who want to get the job done the most efficiently and the ones who get “wrapped-up” in the art of the language, the politics of demand and ego king of the hill.
    Java is a pure example of ego object-oriented zelots gone wild. Its a car with all parameters of engine combustion available on the dash, such that – unless you know everything, you know nothing; you can’t start the car you can’t get anywhere. That’s not only java but object oriented languages in general.
    Perl on the other hand you can use only what you need. Hello world is print “Hello, world” that’s it. But if you need more you can use more – INDEPENDENTLY of everything else, and it does this through TRUE modularity – object oriented, the way its supposed to be. There is no reuse in java – you have to use it all or risk reinventing the wheel.
    Java is like the BASF commercials: People don’t like java, they like the way it makes their resume better.

  2. That’s not only java but object oriented languages in general.

    I was with you until this was stated. I’m not a big Java fan, but learning it really helped me gain a better understanding of polymorphism, inheritance, and OO in general. OO can be a HUGE benefit if used properly.

    That said, if you don’t know how to use something… maybe you shouldn’t.

  3. I have been struggling the last 5 years doing java, to put it delicatly as possible IT SUCKS, i hate it i dont want to know it, its such a strain get a life people, i have decent well paying job and done fine without it, well done if you like it but come on theres more to life, and for those of you pen holders who write exam papers please remember not everyone is as good at programming as you, it takes time, practice and effort so wise up and just because you have 1 nerd in class doesnt mean everyone else is good aswel, help the people who are struggle on end, and its fucen impossible to do answer 20 long questions on writing servlets and implementing interfaces in just 3 hours, id like to thank who ever read this i leave you with this, thanks :o)

    public class IHateJava{ public static void main (String [ ]fu){ String msg =”so fcuk you”; while(1<0){ System.out.println("I hate java"+msg); } } }

  4. I was googling for people, who are whining over Java, because I am once again… No details: Java takes the joy of programming from my job. Bright guys once found a way to facilitate re-occuring work, then many others did the same. Now, we have a bunch of “re-usable” monster-packages out there, that someone who never wrote a line of code declares “company-standard”.

    I am configuring frameworks.

    Great, isn’t that wonderful?! I used to be a programmer before, and that was my original choice of a profession! Get me some idiot to replace me, here… I am about to quit.

  5. so there I dont hate JUst JAVA I dislike all programing languages out there….it begining to turn into “I hate computers” but it hasnt gone that extreme yet….I feel this way becuase of a school computer course I took that ruined my life…..I have the exam tommorw…..getting ready for my first failing mark EVER…cant wait


  6. Wow. I HATE java too. And I’ve got this stupid major java exam tomorow, java stinks out loud BIG time. I’ve been studying this useless language for the whole day today.arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  7. I personally dislike Java after programming with it, its not my cup of coffe :)

    I tried Java with an open mind and that was the conclusion I come to.

    I am not advocating that it is a good OR bad language, that is for individuals to decide.

    Programming languages are tools, one should use the tool that does the job; Everything else is a matter of personal choice.

    I would never bother trying to defend OR bash a language as this is pointless.

    A smart programmer will ALWAYS be a smart programmer in ANY language.

    A less able programmer will ALWAYS be a less able programmer in ANY language, and Java is no exception to that rule.

    Guys please stop trying to measure the programming language, measure the programmer instead:

    “The programming language does not make the man (like clothes), its man that makes the programming language”

    Good Day,

    Anhar Hussain Miah

  8. I would also like to say that a better discussion whould be that of “Object-Oriented Programming vs. Procedural Programming”

    I would say simply that BOTH have a place and should co-exist, and both should be used depending on the context.

    Anyone who says that one is better than the other is very limited and naive in their understading.

    Anhar Husssain Miah

  9. yeah, Object-Oriented Programming & Procedural Programming can co-exist, but in java? why the example that in my book the main function(oh, they called it method…..) in a class? why i can’t just call why the method code in the code of declarat a class? in c++, i can use the .h file as a function reference, but in java….. i hate the method of actionPerformed(ActionEvent e) to process event, thought in actualality it is right. i hate write every method of a interface, sometime, i need only overwrite *ONE method.

  10. Java sucks big time (at least for websites and under capital ppl like me). I’m with “by 10 years with Java,”. IMHO Java is good, but not good enough for websites.

    It sucks because the loading time. I tend to avoid things with .jsp behind it. Because it takes like forever to display some stupid texts. What the hell the svr is doing ?. visit here for demo.

    If it can load within 5 seconds post back here. That kind of demo page is like to tell a user to go shopping 1st and come back later. There are other page that similar but load faster. Heck, even ASP on IIS can beat Jboss/whatever on Tomcat anytime.

    Thats why I avoid Sun websites, they have .jsp and pages took forever to load!. Enough to scare me and make me press that refresh button few times. Now that is from a user perspective.

    Oh yeah, the weird thing I found is Java webapps is more like…”enterprise/big thing/complex/complete”. Sadly thats the another reason I avoid Java webapps, you got to know all the “parameters of engine combustion” first to be able to “start doing something”. Java sucks big time on the web.

  11. Oh yeah you might say its because the javascript in the page, ok, but, really, why most .jsp perform this way >>> click…wait….wait….wait…kapoof, everything there ? while other like click…wait …some ..some ..complete ?

  12. Computer programming (doesn’t matter what the program – FORTRAN, C++, Java) is totally useless. I have never used it outside the formal classroom when I took FORTRAN and C++ courses. I did well in those, it was fun, but that’s only because it is possible to do ANYthing of value when you have a professor standing over your shoulder, night and day, to ask for the exact command to do every little thing. Without that structured environment, one wastes years – decades even – searching in vain for the right command.

    I’ll stick to pure mathematics and mathematical modeling of physical, social, political, judicial problems. It’s done INFINITELY more for the world and for me than computer programming has.

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