Gadgetopia

Naval-gazing assery, written to tell a flood of people voluntarily using a site not to use the site.

I vehemently dispute your tossed-off statement that the Internet sucks the soul out of relating to people in general.

I think there's a lot of coolness to Facebook - but your page gets filled up with applications you found other people using. (I influenced my cousin to use the Chinese Name application, for example). And your news feed is all about everything everybody did to everyone else. :-)

Deane, do you really believe your statement? Could you elaborate?

Recent research by the University of Amsterdam in cooperation with Hyves (largest social network in The Netherlands, 5m users) shows that Hyves strengthens offline relations, instead of weakening them or preventing users from being social offline.

Hyves users turned out to even have a more active social life offline, compared to non-hyves-users. The 3000 people that were "researched" (I don't know if they were interviewed one by one) indicated that they mainly use Hyves to get in touch with old friends and colleagues.

I don't see why this should be much different in the US. I wonder why social networks often get this negative vibe from people saying that they are evil and talking down at people using them. What's your take on that?

This is a press release quoted by a newssite: http://www.nu.nl/news.jsp?n=1366168&c=50

P.S.: I'm a avid reader of your blog, keep it up!

Deane, do you really believe your statement? Could you elaborate?

I've been online so long now, that perhaps I'm a little jaded by this point. But the Net seems to increase the quantity of the relationships I have, but at a superficial level. I relate to a lot of people now, but at little significant depth.

I have hundreds and hundreds of people that I've "met" on the Net. I have touch-and-go, once-in-a-while relationships with these people, but I know little about them, and they know little about me.

At the same time, my circle of "real life" friends seems to get smaller and smaller. We don't sit down for a beer, because we can always email. Email provides a veneer of intimacy, which helps us avoid anything more real.

I am sick to my stomach about Facebook. It seems like it's one big college frat party....sex and alcohol being the main topics. People pretending to be connecting to others but really only do so to massage their own egos. People pretending to be caring when all it is is fast-food, who's next, stroke my ego, talk dirty, fool around on people who really do care.

It's all kind of sad really.

facebook are thieves and make there own rules to suit themselves.

Most of people that are on facebook have not read 'terms and condition' - this is really sad for them otherwise they would know that all information on facebook are not their property anymore but property of facebook (which is illegal in democratic country) and they sell information about you to companies.

When I tried to destroy my account it was impossible - facebook keep information about me forever. Now, my account is unactivated.

And do you know what the funny part is.. Now if you don't have a facebook account you are considered to be a third world inhabitant. I hate these networking sites.. It's so ridiculous for someone to waste his/her time to these bulls....t! Childish and silly... I wish someone could close it down for good.. I know people that they might consider commit suicide if this happened.. The world is going MAD...

My shirt is blue. Facebook, and internet communications in general deprive us of the sensory information our brains require to make real decisions and decipher the truth about the physical world. Its a liars paradise, as you see, my shirt is actually black. Does that information matter? Probably not. You'll never know because your eyes will never see it. And though the internet allows voice and video to be transported, it fails to reveal to our sensory brains, that essential concecpt of situational awareness that is so important to the social habits of people. For example, you can feel when someone is uncomfortable, or pick up on the body language that someone is about to make an excuse to leave your presence. And some people take great care to manipulate that fault to its full advantage. The internet fails on so many social levels, yet for many people it has become the foremost means of communicating with people outside of their homes. (A recent survey found people ranking the internet as essential as heat, water and hydro in their budgets) Facebook isn't evil, its merely, like the rest of the net, a sensory info deprived void that people take advantage of by indulging in vanity. The formula for the sucess of networking sites is quite simple. The more people can input (truthfully or otherwise) about themselves, the more atractive it becomes. Is it really the internets fault that people choose to use it in that way? Of course not, the internet is a great idea. Its the people your supposedly communicating with that you have to watch out for. I'm telling you the truth about my shirt and that doesnt matter. That information isnt tangible.

It just makes me a little sad thats all. I remember when people went out of the way to catch up with friends. Now they just email or something equally less personal.

The worst part of the whole thing is how easy it is for people to get tied up into the bullshit, the false information that is fed from one person to the next is inexcusable. The users of these websites base themselves on how many friend they have, is it jut me or is this just one giant popularity contest, its truly sad. The creators of these websites are truly the scum of the earth that are making millions and millions of dollars by peoples stupidity, its so incredibly discusting, i though i was the only person in the world who has a strict anti-facebook policy. Being a 22 year old male and not being involved in all this bullshit is an acomplishment, and knowing all my friends and even my fiance are a part of it makes me steam, but it also fuels my fire, it makes me realize my strength is greater than theirs. These websites are personal adds, made for these people to promote themselves under false pretenses 90% of the time. Taking photos of the side of your faces so noone can see the true ugliness that radiates off of you is proving that you will pour as much gas into your own tank to keep you moving as long as you can until eventually you run out of gas, but they continue to fuel themselves and hope and pray tha others will spare them fuel by "commenting" on their photos , its so discusting, all of it. It is a personal ad, plain and simple, its no different from say match.com, or any of those other sites, its just people promoting themselves to get friends and it is sad.

Facebook is not as innocent as it looks, a friend of mine was forced to make an account on facebook. And he almost got fired because he joined movements with different from the ideas from the well-known Kinepolis Group of which he worked for. Facebook is changing from a network site to a social controlling system. It's more and more a social obligation. Example: i missed a wedding from one of my own family members because the invitations were ony sent y facebook. It's becoming something we depend on and in he end evryone will need this, otherwise you will be isolated from your friends.

It's a smart way to force facebook in everyone's lives. Because people think it's needed. Also, know tht facebook knows better then you how your social network of friends and fmily is built.

That's why evryone should know the power that the men behind facebook have. I'm not saying facebook is bad, but be aware of the power it has to control you

I just searched online to see if anyone else has the defiant feelings that I do about facebook, and I am pleased to see comments with great articulation on the subject. Today, I was again asked why do I not join facebook. I feel every time someone asks that question, I have to come up with a valid argument which I know will never convince them. Their minds have already been thrashed by the facebook bug. They think I, and other people who decide to avoid the social-networking frenzy of so called friends and declarations of sad and egotistical facts, that we are weird. Well I am happy to be outside of their bubble and "weird" in their opinions. The world has gone mad for another trend and I'm sure, like every other trend before it, it wont last.

I am very glad to have found other anti-facebook people! I was bamboozled into joining the site about a year ago before I really knew what it was. I now find that the vast majority of its users are ego-maniacs who seem to think that everyone wants to know the boring details of their lives. However, I am now in a slightly tricky situation where I need to in effect 'police' the site in case anyone posts any details or images of me that could be a detriment to my work (I am a self- employed musician/teacher). Fortunatly I am quite good at avoiding photographs being taken of me and am rarely in a situation where a particularly embarassing one could be taken! I suddenly feel like an outsider to a number of my peers...I just don't get Facebook.

Honestly I agree completely. To me facebook or as I like to say stalkerbook is means for people to take a perverted interest in the lives of other people. Every self-fulfilling detail about oneself can be display and transmitted over that site. Of course with all main stream trends its always the idiocy of society that embraces the trend to the fullest. I am happy not to be part of that group.

Whew! Thank you for all the posts that have articulately and accurately expressed some of the problems with facebook. I did a search on google under "sad" and "facebook", and other searches, and came upon this discussion.

Facebook and other social networks are a deceiving tool. Sounds a bit like an oxymoron, but that's part of why it is so difficult to part from it. Facebook is a tool, and can do a lot of good. But it can be unbelievably destructive if not used in moderation.

It is a grand subject with so many nuances, but I would just like to say that I very much concur with what has been written above.

Special mention goes to the comments above from "No Proof" and "Jo". Thank you!

i just hate it..it is fake book... not facebook.. the friends u have there are all fake ..it is good for peopele who have time in hand.. and peoles ego etc very dangerous. .i feel it sould be banned.

I also don't like facebook and other social networking site. Actually most of the people waste their time, money and bandwidth in such sites. I feel totally afraid when most of the guys and girls upload their personal info, photos, real email address, contact no., address and much more.

Facebook (It doesn’t deserve a big heading) A social networking site that makes it ok for people to stalk one another, lets teenage girls pose holding drinks with less than 1% alcohol, and makes even the dropkicks look like social suaves. A place where people pretend to have heaps of friends that, really they have only made eye contact with and a place where you can talk to that HAWT BOI at the bus stop without being a complete dickhead (because as we all know, saying something over the computer is much more acceptable than saying it face to face!)

And for those who say, “I just want it to catch up with friends that I haven’t seen in a long time” there might be a reason why you haven’t seen them in a while…THEY DON’T LIKE YOU! That or you are just a tool and think it’s ok to stalk people. And since when did going on the computer become cool?!?!

One of my friend’s said to me, “Oh my god! You don’t have a Facebook! Do you have a life?” Very, VERY ironic. I’m the one without a life talking to my friends on the phone or in person and you have the most fulfilling life sitting on the computer talking to your posse of BAAAAAAABY GURLZZZZZ!

Why would everyone want to know what everyone else is doing? “Oh boy! Cindy wrote on Shamus’ wall!” WHO GIVES A RATS!?! What an invasion of privacy! And then you get the kids “facebooking” (apparently that’s a verb now) at school. sigh will you ever learn? Oh, we can all see the point of talking to someone on Facebook when they’re sitting next to you… BECAUSE IT’S DIGITAL WHICH MAKES IT WAY MORE FUN THAN ENGAGING IN ACTUAL CONVERSATION!

It’s all in the name…FACEBOOK. A book of your FACE, not your breasts, 6 pack, or stiletto bearing legs! Who wants to comment on blurry photos of an arm, leg, ear, eye in your album “MY TOTS DRNKN NITE OUT WIF ALL MA CREW?” The answer to that…OTHER FACEBOOK LOSERS LIKE YOURSELF!

A social networking site…dear me, that does sound a lot like those dating services with all the desperate men looking for love and a good time. Oh yes indeed, everyone’s favourite social networking site, Facebook is definitely the place to be because you can be just like fat and greasy Peter on Lava Life reloading his profile every 0.18 of a second to see if anyone’s commented on his pictures (which have obviously been photoshopped) to see if anyone finds him remotely SXC or interesting. News for you greasy Peter and all-to-similar Facebookers, you are stupid!

I must give this complete, waste of time site some credit though…you are better than “slutsville” and “pimp-wannabe” Myspace. Having fake friends, mmmm yeah I can live with that. But rating friends, that is just RIDICULOUS! Myspace; where a normal conversation sounds like, “PLZ COMMENT ON MA HAWT NEW PICS BABEEEEEEZ! ILY MWA” And if one dares not to… “OMFG! WTF! U TOTS DIDN’T COMMENT ON MA PIC WIF ME DRINKING A CRUISA! YOR TOTS MOVING DOWN MA TOP FRIENDS! BIATCH” Nuff said.

In conclusion, sure, it’s ok to have a Facebook. Hell, someone made a fake one for me, probably so they could have another friend on their HUGE list (pfft, jerks!). But I tip my hat to the people that have not fallen into this trap. Not the people who have one who just haven’t become addicted; you’re good, but you’re still an idiot! I salute those who have phone conversations and go over to people’s houses to make verbal conversation. Hell, I’ll even salute telegrams if they’re bold enough. But there is no way that I would ever salute the self-obsessed boys and girls (notice how I didn’t say men and women, because these people are quite childish) that centre their lives on stalking other boys and girls. You are what I like to call…a moron.

Facebook (It doesn’t deserve a big heading) A social networking site that makes it ok for people to stalk one another, lets teenage girls pose holding drinks with less than 1% alcohol, and makes even the dropkicks look like social suaves. A place where people pretend to have heaps of friends that, really they have only made eye contact with and a place where you can talk to that HAWT BOI at the bus stop without being a complete dickhead (because as we all know, saying something over the computer is much more acceptable than saying it face to face!)

And for those who say, “I just want it to catch up with friends that I haven’t seen in a long time” there might be a reason why you haven’t seen them in a while…THEY DON’T LIKE YOU! That or you are just a tool and think it’s ok to stalk people. And since when did going on the computer become cool?!?!

One of my friend’s said to me, “Oh my god! You don’t have a Facebook! Do you have a life?” Very, VERY ironic. I’m the one without a life talking to my friends on the phone or in person and you have the most fulfilling life sitting on the computer talking to your posse of BAAAAAAABY GURLZZZZZ!

Why would everyone want to know what everyone else is doing? “Oh boy! Cindy wrote on Shamus’ wall!” WHO GIVES A RATS!?! What an invasion of privacy! And then you get the kids “facebooking” (apparently that’s a verb now) at school. sigh will you ever learn? Oh, we can all see the point of talking to someone on Facebook when they’re sitting next to you… BECAUSE IT’S DIGITAL WHICH MAKES IT WAY MORE FUN THAN ENGAGING IN ACTUAL CONVERSATION!

It’s all in the name…FACEBOOK. A book of your FACE, not your breasts, 6 pack, or stiletto bearing legs! Who wants to comment on blurry photos of an arm, leg, ear, eye in your album “MY TOTS DRNKN NITE OUT WIF ALL MA CREW?” The answer to that…OTHER FACEBOOK LOSERS LIKE YOURSELF!

A social networking site…dear me, that does sound a lot like those dating services with all the desperate men looking for love and a good time. Oh yes indeed, everyone’s favourite social networking site, Facebook is definitely the place to be because you can be just like fat and greasy Peter on Lava Life reloading his profile every 0.18 of a second to see if anyone’s commented on his pictures (which have obviously been photoshopped) to see if anyone finds him remotely SXC or interesting. News for you greasy Peter and all-to-similar Facebookers, you are stupid!

I must give this complete, waste of time site some credit though…you are better than “slutsville” and “pimp-wannabe” Myspace. Having fake friends, mmmm yeah I can live with that. But rating friends, that is just RIDICULOUS! Myspace; where a normal conversation sounds like, “PLZ COMMENT ON MA HAWT NEW PICS BABEEEEEEZ! ILY MWA” And if one dares not to… “OMFG! WTF! U TOTS DIDN’T COMMENT ON MA PIC WIF ME DRINKING A CRUISA! YOR TOTS MOVING DOWN MA TOP FRIENDS! BIATCH” Nuff said.

In conclusion, sure, it’s ok to have a Facebook. Hell, someone made a fake one for me, probably so they could have another friend on their HUGE list (pfft, jerks!). But I tip my hat to the people that have not fallen into this trap. Not the people who have one who just haven’t become addicted; you’re good, but you’re still an idiot! I salute those who have phone conversations and go over to people’s houses to make verbal conversation. Hell, I’ll even salute telegrams if they’re bold enough. But there is no way that I would ever salute the self-obsessed boys and girls (notice how I didn’t say men and women, because these people are quite childish) that centre their lives on stalking other boys and girls. You are what I like to call…a moron.